Nothing prepares you for a loss. You know that it sometimes happens but it only happened to other people. Then one day you realise it is happening to you. If you are like many other women, at first it might seem like a surreal experience; a nightmare you'd soonwake up from.
As time goes on, you realise that you are not going to wake up, this is your life and that baby that you have been holding in your heart and your womb is in fact gone. You feel like your heart is breaking into a million pieces and you just know that your life will never be the same. It seems that you'd never be happy again.
As more time passes, you might find that some days you are able to wake up and do normal things like prepare some food, watch some TV. It feels like you are getting better but the next day comes and you feel too overwhelmed to even get out of bed. This is completely normal. Grief from pregnancy loss is very intense, it can come in waves and can be quite overwhelming. I would love to tell you that you'd never feel sad over the loss of your baby but that wouldn't be true. I can however, tell you that it is possible to be yourself again, to be happy and while you will always see your loss as something terrible, you'd be able to think of your baby without ending up in tears.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You just need to keep going. And in the famous words of Martin Luther, “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” the most important thing is to just keep moving. Believe that you are strong and you will be ok. Because you have been beautifully created.
It might also help to remember that your baby was also beautifully created. He or She was not a bunch of random cells. This means that their life was not meaningless. You might never know the reason why your baby is not here with you today but know that he or she was here to touch your life in some way. We were blessed to have known them even if only briefly. They are our little wonderful blessings and so they will remain in our hearts forever.
What helped you or is helping you to recover from pregnancy loss?